


do, a deer (a female deer)

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan is a crossdressing singer-songwriter who performs regularly at bars and nightclubs. Joonmyun is a supposedly straight man whose ideal type is Luhan in a wig. Minseok is Luhan's manager, and Jongdae is the bartender who gets caught up in it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I think I'm gay."

"Oh, Joonmyun, how wonderful!"

"No, you don't understand. I'm having homosexual thoughts about a straight man who I used to have a heterosexual attraction towards because I thought he was a she but now I'm definitely sure I want his dick."

"Oh...no...maybe I don't understand after all... Was that supposed to make more sense in your head?"

Joonmyun shakes his head sadly. "I don't understand anything either. That's why I came to you, Zitao. You're the gayest person I know."

Zitao squeezes Joonmyun's hand gently and says, "No, Joonmyun. You're the gayest person you know."

 

Joonmyun has always thought of himself as the quintessential manly man. He studied the most masculine subjects in college: finance and politics. He enjoys manly hobbies such as reading and golf. Even his wardrobe is the epitome of a modern manly man, from his vaguely Christmas-y sweaters to his endless supply of white orthopedic sneakers. 

After his extremely masculine day of work teaching gender studies to a predominantly female class of college students, Joonmyun likes to unwind at his favorite bar, Club Suho. The bar reminds him of himself for some reason, but it's kind of therapeutic, so he always comes back to its soothing atmosphere. 

There's another reason why Joonmyun always returns to Club Suho- namely, the live performances. Joonmyun considers himself to be a bit of a "hipster" when it comes to music. Or at least, that's the term the kids are throwing around nowadays, Joonmyun's not quite sure what it means. But he likes to keep up with local bands and musicians, and Club Suho always invites the freshest acts. They're not always good musically per se, but Joonmyun likes the satisfaction of claiming to have seen their live performances first. 

But perhaps the thing Joonmyun likes most about Club Suho is the cheerfully sarcastic bartender who always greets him with a warm smile at the end of a long day. If Joonmyun wasn't straight, or so he tells himself, he might possibly find Jongdae kind of really attractive. But since Joonmyun is 100% heterosexual, any admiration Joonmyun feels towards the bartender is solely "man crush." 

Tonight, Jongdae is wearing a black tank top that exposes his impressively bulging biceps. Joonmyun swallows a lump down his throat and takes a sip of his scotch, mentally taking note to ask Jongdae for workout tips later on. As soon as the bitter liquid hits his tongue, Joonmyun's face crumples unattractively and the corners of his red lips turn down in displeasure. He didn't know that this was what scotch was like. He had seen a bunch of machismo type men guzzle down bottles of it in an old western movie he had watched the night before, so he had ordered the amber drink merely to evoke the spirit of manliness. But Joonmyun can't bring himself to take another sip, so he orders something a bit fruitier instead. 

As Jongdae hands him a banana daiquiri, Joonmyun notices an unfamiliar face sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage. She has long, reddish hair that falls into her dainty face as she curls her neck forward to tune her guitar. Joonmyun watches her pale, slender fingers, mesmerized, as she strums out a few chords. And then she closes her eyes and croons a soft melody into the microphone, and Joonmyun's arms prickle with goosebumps at the chilling gentleness of her voice. Time turns viscous as Joonmyun loses himself in the haunting melody flowing from her lips. 

After she finishes her first song, the singer opens her dark, sparkling eyes. She nods at the crowd in acknowledgement of their applause, and when her eyes meet Joonmyun's, he thinks that he can possibly believe in love at first sight. He waits expectantly for her to introduce herself, but she plunges into the next song without a word in between. 

"Who's that girl onstage?" Joonmyun asks Jongdae, who looks up and shrugs. The music obviously does not have the same profound impact on the bartender. 

"She's like the Little Mermaid," Joonmyun sighs wistfully, "with her pretty red hair and her pretty voice."

"Little Mermaid? I like that," chuckles the man sitting on the barstool next to Joonmyun's. "I'll let her know you said that, I think she'll get a kick out of it."

"You know her?" Joonmyun asks, eyes widening in surprise. 

"I'm Minseok, her manager." The man extends a hand to shake Joonmyun's. He has pale, round cheeks and really nice eyebrows. Not that Joonmyun notices, of course, because straight men definitely don't get jealous of each others' eyebrows. 

"Joonmyun," he responds, squeezing Minseok's hand firmly in his. "And her name is...?"

"Luhan."

Luhan. Joonmyun's lips silently form the foreign, indistinctly exotic syllables. 

"That's her stage name," Minseok continues. "But only I'm allowed to call her by her real name."

Joonmyun nods absently, trying to ignore the inexplicable twinge of jealousy in his gut at the manager's words. 

"I have a name, too," Jongdae announces offhandedly. 

"Oh?" Minseok smirks, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. Joonmyun can't help but wonder how a pair of eyebrows can have so much game. 

Not interested on getting in on the gay, or whatever it is Minseok and Jongdae are doing across the bar counter now, Joonmyun wanders over to the edge of the stage, where Luhan is packing up her guitar. 

"Hey," Joonmyun says, trying to keep the nervous excitement out of his voice. "That was an amazing performance you just gave...can I buy you a drink?"

Luhan looks up in surprise, blinking her dark, curly lashes. She smiles, and Joonmyun unclenches the fist he didn't realize he'd formed. 

"Dressing room?" she murmurs, her voice low and thrilling. 

"Yeah, yeah, sure, I can do that." Joonmyun tries to keep the bounce out of his step as he follows her backstage. 

Luhan stops in front of the door of her dressing room and turns around, lifting up a single finger. 

"Oh, sure, of course," Joonmyun blubbers. Joonmyun is a gentleman, so he definitely had not expected to be invited into her dressing room. Not that he would have refused. Luhan flashes him a smile, pretty pink lips stretching across her teeth, and she slips into the room, leaving Joonmyun to stand sentry outside. 

Joonmyun can’t help but lean onto the closed dressing room door, a smile lazily curving the corners of his lips. A few people pass by and shoot him strange glances, but he just nods indulgently in their direction with a cheery wave. His arms are folded across his chest, and his back is pressed to the door when he feels a sudden lack of support that sends him tumbling backwards, arms flailing helplessly. 

But he feels a surprisingly strong pair of arms catch him before he hits the ground. Joonmyun looks up and sees large dark eyes crinkling in amusement. He lets out a nervous chuckle, extricating himself from Luhan’s arms. He tries to straighten out his blazer, but then freezes as he takes in the figure silently laughing at him. It’s a moment of cognitive dissonance as Joonmyun perceives twinkling kohl rimmed eyes and coral lips, and then short, burgundy hair peeking out of a snapback and a black tank top exposing pale, toned arms, stretched tight across sculpted pectorals. 

“Let’s go back to the bar,” Luhan laughs. Joonmyun follows him in dumb bewilderment, watching the bob of Luhan’s adam’s apple. How did he not notice that before? 

“Hey, Lu!” Minseok greets Luhan with the typical bro-handshake-hug. 

Jongdae looks at Luhan, and then back at Joonmyun in bewilderment. When his glance falls upon Luhan’s guitar case, his chest starts shaking in silent laughter. Joonmyun avoids eye contact with Jongdae for the rest of the night. 

Luhan orders a scotch, easily downing it in one gulp. Joonmyun can’t help but feel like it’s the punchline to some joke he’s not aware of. 

 

Joonmyun tells himself that he keeps returning to Club Suho on “Luhan nights” purely for musical enjoyment. But they share a drink, and then another, and Joonmyun begins to appreciate more than just Luhan's soft, crooning voice. 

Luhan is pretty, ethereally so, with his pale, delicate face, dainty nose, and effulgent eyes. And when he is wearing his flowing auburn wig, he is prettier than any girl Joonmyun has ever laid eyes on. But when the wig, the dress, and the stage make up come off, Joonmyun thinks that Luhan is simply breathtaking. Luhan's feminine qualities were what first caught Joonmyun's attention, but he is fascinated by the singer's rough and raw boyishness. 

When Luhan laughs, it's not a girlish giggle like Joonmyun's own. It's a deep, almost nasal sound that contorts his face in decidedly unfeminine ways. While Luhan's stage persona is entrancing, Joonmyun finds himself even more intoxicated by the real Luhan, much to Joonmyun's despair. At first, Joonmyun thought he was attracted to Luhan despite his maleness, but now he is starting to think that he is attracted to him because of it, as well.

It goes against everything Joonmyun thought he knew about himself. He had always thought he was a straight man living in a straight world, but now he's not so sure. He starts to see people differently now, but at the same time, he's too scared to make a move. The world isn’t always friendly to people who are a bit different.

Joonmyun has always admired Jongdae's arms. Before, he had always thought it was because he wanted guns like Jongdae's, but now Joonmyun fantasizes about how it would feel to have Jongdae's strong arms wrap securely around his body. He thinks about how Jongdae’s eyes crinkle in delight, the way he laughs with his entire body, the bright richness of his voice, the kittenish curl of his lips when he smiles. He thinks about how those lips would feel against his own. But whenever his thoughts start drifting towards Jongdae, Joonmyun forces himself to snap out of it and think about Luhan instead. He tells himself that Luhan is pretty like a girl, so it's okay to have a crush on Luhan. Jongdae is out of bounds. 

And so Joonmyun's internal discourse becomes a list of sorts as he tries to figure out what is okay, what is not okay, what is true, and what he desperately hopes to be true. But his thoughts become too tangled for him to unravel on his own, so he goes to Zitao for guidance. 

"Let me get this straight, Joonmyun. You think you might be gay, but you want yourself to like Luhan because he looks like a girl even though you're not sure if he's straight or not?"

When Joonmyun nods, Zitao continues. "First of all, why are you doubtful of Luhan's sexual orientation? I mean, he likes dressing as a girl… Not to make any overgeneralizations, but that’s typically a red flag..."

"I don't know," Joonmyun shrugs. "Isn't crossdressing like a Chinese thing? Don't a lot of guys do it for opera and stuff?"

"Not since the Ming Dynasty..."

"Alright, but still...the way the guy dresses and stuff when he's not in drag. I don't know, it just doesn't strike me as gay."

"You’re really not one to determine who is gay or not, Joonmyun. Also, there's no such thing as dressing gay or straight. You still have a lot to learn about being gay," Zitao chides. "Anyways, you mentioned Jongdae. What does Jongdae have to do with any of this?"

"I don't know, on the off chance that I'm not actually gay-"

Zitao rolls his eyes. "Please."

"-I feel like I shouldn't be attracted to him since he's so overwhelmingly male. I feel like with Luhan I have excuse for being attracted to him since I basically mistook him for a girl..."

“I’m pretty sure that by principle, being attracted to Jongdae makes you gay, Joonmyun. But I understand, you're still in denial." Zitao nods sagely.

"I don't know, Zitao. I just- I don't know anything anymore."

"Just stop thinking about this so much, Joonmyun. You're making things way too complicated. Don't try to fight your feelings. Try to get laid instead."

Joonmyun's mouth opens and closes dumbly like a fish, and Zitao claps him on the back. 

"Don't worry, Joonmyun. These things have a way of working themselves out."

 

And things do work themselves out, more or less, when Joonmyun finds himself huddled against Luhan at Club Suho, who is watching Jongdae and Minseok exchange flirtatious glances across the counter. The disgust on Luhan’s face is undisguised as he downs one tequila after another. Although Joonmyun is a little troubled by Jongdae’s avid interest in Minseok, it at least gives him all the more reason to ignore his feelings for Jongdae. Luckily for Joonmyun, Luhan poses a distraction as he leans in to whisper in his ear.

“I can’t watch this anymore,” Luhan mutters drunkenly, pulling Joonmyun by the wrist. “Let’s get out of here.”

“And go where?”

“My place,” Luhan says, quirking an eyebrow suggestively.

“For what?”

“What do you think.”

“Oh.” Joonmyun’s eyes widen in comprehension. “Ohhh…You mean...the sex.”

“Jesus, Joonmyun, why did you have to say it that way,” Luhan laughs in exasperation. 

“I’m sorry, Luhan, I just...I haven’t ever had the sex.”

Luhan can’t stop a grin from stretching across his lips. “You know, you’re always trying to prove your masculinity and stuff….But you’re just naturally so cute. It’s kind of endearing.”

Joonmyun beams at Luhan, but then scrunches his eyebrows when Luhan reaches over to tug him by the ear into their taxi.

 

Luhan rubs Joonmyun’s hands soothingly as he attempts to unbutton Luhan’s jeans with trembling fingers.

“Hey, it’s okay, Joonmyun. There’s nothing to be scared of,” Luhan coos gently.

Joonmyun gulps as he tugs Luhan’s skinny jeans from his ankles and starts unbuttoning his own. “Luhan...am I going to be the one doing, the, you know…” 

“Topping? Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” Joonmyun pouts, sticking out his bottom lip petulantly. He’s obviously the manlier of the two. And besides, Luhan is the one who dresses up as a girl.

“I know a bottom when I see one,” Luhan scoffs. He crawls over to take the red swell of Joonmyun’s lip between his own, eliciting a soft gasp of surprise. “Don’t worry, Joonmyun. I’ll be gentle.”

 

Joonmyun thinks that he and Luhan have very different definitions of the word “gentle”, as Joonmyun can hardly walk the next day. Even after the entire day has transpired, he can’t help but wince as he sits down at his regular spot at the bar by Jongdae.

“Sooo…” Jongdae begins, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “You and Luhan, huh?”

Joonmyun pulls a face of impassivity. “We had the sex,” he says casually.

“Wow, well done, Joonmyun,” Jongdae congratulates him, with an enthusiastic punch to the shoulder. Joonmyun flinches and has to rub the pain out of his shoulder, but he grins nonetheless. Jongdae is worth the bruises.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you were that type.” Jongdae laughs, swiping a rag across his spotless counter.

A familiar uneasiness trickles down Joonmyun’s spine. “I...didn’t think I was that type either. But, it’s Luhan, you know! Remember when I thought he was a girl?” Joonmyun laughs nervously. 

“Of course, Joonmyun. You handled that pretty well, though! I’d say it only took about half an hour for your face to return back to normal.” 

Joonmyun frowns, lamenting the fact that he always somehow manages to embarrass himself in front of Jongdae. “So, how was your romp in the hay, Jongdae?” 

“Please don’t use sexual euphemisms, Joonmyun.” Jongdae glances over at Joonmyun, who is watching him intently, and then looks back down at the counter. “If you’re talking about Minseok...it didn’t happen. Nothing happened between us.”

While the jealous, irrational part of Joonmyun secretly rejoices, he can’t help but feel a painful twinge of sympathy. Jongdae, who is always carefree and collected, looks visibly uncomfortable and it hurts Joonmyun for some inexplicable reason. “Jongdae? Is everything alright?” he asks carefully.

Jongdae chuckles, but the sound is rough and scratchy to Joonmyun’s ears. “Yeah. We weren’t really that interested in each other anyways. Minseok was too busy worrying about Luhan having drunk sex with you, and I...was thinking about someone else, too.”

Joonmyun’s throat is suddenly dry. He tries to find his voice, but doesn’t get a chance to speak when he and Jongdae are suddenly interrupted by Luhan, who is clinging possessively onto Minseok’s arm. 

“Kim Jongdae!” Luhan barks, or rather, yips. “Did you sleep with my baozi last night?”

The bartender denies vehemently, alarmed by Luhan’s startling aggressiveness. 

Minseok laughs fondly, pulling Luhan close to his side. “Like I said, Han, you don’t have anything to worry about, baby. I’m here for you, and you only.” Luhan smiles smugly and not-so-subtly rubs himself all over Minseok’s body.

“Hey now,” Jongdae interrupts sternly. “What about Joonmyun, Luhan? You can’t just play him like that.”

“Please,” scoffs Luhan. “Joonmyun just needed me to help him get over the fact that he’s gay. He’s obviously into you, Jongdae, I was just there to give him a push in the right direction.”

“Obviously,” Jongdae echoes blankly. 

“Anyways, that’s all I needed to know. I’m off to have wild baozi sex, bye!” Luhan trills, skipping off with Minseok under his vice-like grip. 

"I don't think I even want to know what that means," Jongdae mutters disconcertedly. 

“Poor Minseok,” Joonmyun muses pensively. “If Luhan’s that territorial in public, imagine what he’s like in bed, when they’re doing the frick-frack.”

“Joonmyun,” Jongdae groans. “What did I say about using euphemisms.”

He turns to grin at the bartender, but his smile falters when he sees Jongdae’s solemn gaze. “What’s the matter?” he asks tentatively.

“Is it true?” Jongdae asks, his voice husky, yet fragile in a way that makes Joonmyun's stomach tighten. “What Luhan said. How you feel about me.”

“I…” Joonmyun’s throat catches at the slouch in Jongdae’s shoulders, the way he can’t even bring himself to look at Joonmyun in the eye. Joonmyun’s scared of admitting his feelings to himself, let alone aloud, but he tries to be brave for Jongdae’s sake. “Yeah, I like you, Jongdae. I really do. I can’t believe it took Luhan for me to finally be honest with myself about how I feel, to be okay with liking boys. But now I think I’ve liked you for a really, really long time.”

The way Jongdae looks up at Joonmyun with transparent hope and adoration in his eyes is nothing short of a glance from heaven. 

“I really like you, too, Joonmyun,” he laughs nervously. “I always thought you were straight, to be honest. And when Luhan showed up...I don’t know, I kind of just accepted that if you ever did do anything with a guy, it would be him, since he’s, well, Luhan. I thought I would need Minseok to distract myself from you, but I guess I’m just a really lucky guy, right?”

Joonmyun can’t keep his effervescent emotions from bubbling up within him and spilling out as ebullient giggles. Jongdae’s eyebrows arch up in surprise at his sudden paroxysm of giggles, and he laughs, joining in with Joonmyun’s gleeful convulsions. 

After Joonmyun has regained his composure and the giddiness has worn off, the reality of his situation sinks in. He can’t believe how blind, how obstinate and utterly dumb he had been. He groans in self-reproach, and slumps forward onto the counter. But his head falls with too much momentum, and it knocks against the glossy hard surface. Joonmyun groans again, this time from the physical pain, and he blinks dizzy tears from his eyes. 

Jongdae gasps in horror and slips over the counter to Joonmyun’s side, unable to restrain his motherly instinct. He cradles Joonmyun’s head in his hands, his wide, chestnut eyes darting between Joonmyun’s in worry.

“Joonmyun! Are you alright? Can you see me? Do you need ice for your forehead?”

Joonmyun shakes his head weakly, vaguely guilty about alarming Jongdae, but mostly pleased about the extra attention. “It’s okay, Jongdae, I’m not a baby…”

But Jongdae isn’t sold, and his fingertips still linger on Joonmyun’s cheeks. He briefly hesitates for a moment, and then leans down to plant a tender kiss in the middle of Joonmyun’s forehead. 

Blinking adorably in surprise, Joonmyun whispers, “You didn’t have to do that, Jongdae…”

Jongdae smiles back affectionately and murmurs, “I wanted to.”

“Then does that mean we can kiss more after this? Not on the forehead?” Joonmyun asks hopefully.

Jongdae laughs. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Including sex? I like sex.” Joonmyun blushes and squirms in his seat. “I mean, I liked it when I did it, but I know I’ll like it even more when I’m doing it with you.”

“So romantic,” Jongdae says, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, I can be romantic!” Joonmyun blurts out defensively. “I can be romantic when we’re having the sex.”

“Okay, whatever you say...As long as I don't have to dress up as a girl.”

“If you dress up as a girl, I’ll let you top…”

“Topping, yes. Crossdressing, no.”

“Why do I always have to be the bottom?” Joonmyun whines.

“Have you looked at yourself?” Jongdae asks with a judgmental arch of the eyebrow.

Joonmyun groans. He’s heard this one before.


	2. bloop boop ba boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Luhan's the best of both worlds, and Joonmyun just wants to top for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: crossdressing kink, role playing, spanking, biting, rimming, barebacking, role reversal, sex on various surfaces, Luhan in a thong, title has nothing to do with the fic.

"Well, fuck me against a wall," Jongdae breathes. 

"Okay!" Joonmyun says with a bright smile. 

"What? I didn't mean..." Jongdae shoots him a weird look. "Just- look over there."

He points over to a dark corner of the bar. Joonmyun's eyes scan the crowd until his gaze falls upon Minseok, who is sucking face with a long haired brunette, grabbing her ass shamelessly. 

"Minseok?" Joonmyun gasps in surprise. 

"Luhan's not going to be happy about that," Jongdae mutters. 

But then Minseok fists his hand in the girl's hair, and the brown locks slip off, revealing short, auburn hair, and- oh. The girl is actually Luhan. 

"Fuck me against a wall twice," Jongdae laughs. 

"I can do that!" Joonmyun chirps. "Please?"

Jongdae eyes his boyfriend warily. "We'll talk about it when we get home."

 

Minseok likes to think that, out of all his friends, he's the least gay. Or, at the very least, the most straight. He's had a fair share of both guys and girls more than willing to hook up with him, but not quite enough to determine a definitive preference, if he has one at all. Luckily for Minseok, he has Luhan, who is happy to indulge all his fantasies. 

With Luhan’s penchant for wearing long wigs and lingerie, literally any fantasy- gay or straight- is possible. Tonight, they've been roleplaying a scenario of Luhan's creation, which he had titled "The Doctor and the Callgirl in the Grimy Old Bar." (Club Suho is immaculately kept, of course, but it was the closest bar available.)

"Oh doctor, what’s a guy like you doing in a bar like this, with a girl like me?" Luhan asks breathily, adjusting his wig. 

Minseok can't remember his line so he just presses his lips roughly against Luhan's, seeking entrance into his mouth with a curl and flick of his tongue. He brushes Luhan's sharp hipbones with the pads of his thumbs and then tugs slightly at the waistband of Luhan’s jeans. Minseok is about to slip his fingers under the denim when Luhan jerks his hand away by the wrist. 

"Not out here in public!" Luhan hisses. 

Minseok smirks and grabs Luhan by the wrist, pulling him towards the men's bathroom. 

"What are you doing? This wasn't part of the script!" Luhan snaps, but he allows Minseok to push him into the dingy single-toilet commode, locking the door behind them. 

Indeed, fucking in the bathroom had not been a part of the script. But Minseok is too impatient for a romantic evening culminating in a tender lovemaking session on their brand new, red satin sheets. Luhan looks hot in his new wig, and Minseok is horny as hell. 

Minseok doesn’t bother with formalities as he snakes his hands under Luhan’s shirt, reaching up to thumb at Luhan’s nipples. He pulls the soft jersey v-neck off of Luhan, displacing his wig in the process. Luhan bends over to pick it up. Even though Minseok is antsy to get his hands on him again, he can’t complain about the view. Luhan adjusts the wig in the mirror, and the dark, chocolatey locks contrast deliciously against his milky skin. Meanwhile, Minseok is palming Luhan’s bare, sinewy shoulders, admiring how, despite his soft, feminine features, Luhan is muscular in all the right places. 

The thing about fucking girls in comparison to Luhan is that Minseok had to always remember to hold back a bit. Not all girls appreciate being tossed around or having bruises pressed into their hips. But Luhan is made of sturdier stuff. Luhan can take it. 

The full-body mirror allows Minseok to see the bulge forming underneath Luhan’s dark denim. He drags his fingernails down Luhan’s sides, drawing out a shiver of pleasure, and starts unbuttoning Luhan’s jeans. Minseok’s breath catches in his chest at the sight of Luhan in the mirror as he rolls the denim down his thighs. The pink lace of Luhan’s thong barely veils the engorged flesh beneath. 

Luhan shimmies out of his skinny jeans, making his ass jiggle, and Minseok can’t resist landing a loud smack against the soft flesh. 

“That wasn’t in the script either!” Luhan squeals, reaching back to rub the red hand shape now printed across his pale skin. 

“I think we’re off-book now, baby,” Minseok purrs and shoves Luhan against the mirror so that his cock smears precome across the cool glass, even through the lace thong. 

Minseok kneels down to nibble at the backs of Luhan’s thighs, causing Luhan to press himself even harder against the mirror. He sinks his teeth into the pale globe of Luhan’s ass, provoking a hiss of, “Fuck!”

He smirks, gripping the thin lace strap of Luhan’s thong between his teeth and pulling down. Luhan hisses again when the cool glass comes in direct contact with his oversensitive cock. Minseok likes when Luhan is vocal, but he hasn’t quite been satisfied yet. So he decides to try something new. He spreads Luhan’s asscheeks apart and presses the flat of his tongue against Luhan’s puckered hole. 

At the unexpected, foreign sensation of Minseok’s hot, wet tongue down there, Luhan wails and accidentally cracks his head against the mirror in a momentary loss of motor control. In a split second, Minseok is scrambling to his feet, spinning Luhan around to look him in the eyes. 

“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” he asks with worry.

“No, I’m fine… And, it’s okay… I liked it,” Luhan laughs nervously, with skin flushed and pupils blown wide.

Minseok brushes his thumb tenderly across Luhan’s forehead, and kisses him on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Luhan turns back around to press himself against the mirror once more. “Get back down there,” he commands, and Minseok is eager to oblige. 

He presses the tip of his tongue inside of Luhan, curling it around to loosen the tight ring of muscle. Soon, he is pressing a finger in beside his tongue, causing Luhan to gasp at the sudden stretch. He works his tongue and finger in tandem until Luhan's gasps are laced with pleasure rather than pain. And then Minseok removes his tongue, replacing it with another finger that curls up to stroke against Luhan’s prostate. 

Luhan is groaning now, just on the edge of ecstasy. With his other hand, Minseok reaches down to fumble with the fly of his own jeans. He somehow manages to unzip himself just in time for Luhan to start fucking himself backwards onto Minseok’s fingers. Minseok holds Luhan still with a tight grip on his hip, removing his fingers. Luhan whines at the loss of stimulation, but keens when Minseok’s cock slowly pushes into him. 

The tightness of Luhan around him is more satisfying than any girl Minseok has ever been with. And at the same time, Minseok takes pleasure in the thick, dark curl of Luhan’s eyelashes, his radiant skin, wanton pink lips, and those dark, glittering eyes that are staring back at him in the reflection of the mirror. After a few achingly slow thrusts, Minseok’s hips begin driving hard against Luhan’s, punctuating their low moans with the sounds of sharp slaps. 

Luhan’s hot breath fogs up the mirror as his breathing is reduced to quick, short gasps. The dueling sensations of Minseok’s warm body pressed against his back and the burn of penetration, in contrast to the coolness of the mirror against his skin is too much for Luhan’s heightened state of sensitivity. Minseok snakes an arm around Luhan’s waist to grip his cock, which is heavy and painfully hard. It only takes a few, rough strokes before Luhan is painting thick, white streaks across the mirror. All the muscles in Luhan’s body clench and tighten in his orgasm, and that’s enough to tip Minseok over the edge, as well. 

Minseok plants a messy, sated kiss on Luhan’s mouth, too spent to do anything other than smile at Luhan with a lazy grin. The bathroom floor is disgusting and the mirror is dripping with semen, but Luhan is content just to sit in Minseok’s lap and let their breaths mingle. 

 

“So how about it, Jongdae?”

“What?” Jongdae looks over to his boyfriend, who is positively bouncing on their bed in eagerness.

“Will you let me fuck you against a wall?”

Jongdae nearly gets tangled in the tshirt he is trying to pull off when he hears Joonmyun’s proposition. “U-um...J-joonmyun…” he stutters, unsure of how to express that, no, he does not think it would be wise or safe for Joonmyun to fuck him against a wall.

“But you asked me to!” Joonmyun pouts. “Well, kind of asked me to. Either way, you said that we could talk about it when we got home…”

Jongdae looks over at his boyfriend, who is sitting cross-legged in their bed, wearing only a pair of navy blue plaid boxers. His eyebrows are tilted in that sad, pathetic way that always makes Jongdae’s heart melt into goo. 

“Are...are you sure you can handle it, Joon?” he asks hesitantly. 

“What do you mean?”

Careful to not insult Joonmyun’s manliness, Jongdae explains, “It takes a lot of...strength… And I’m not exactly built like a kitten.”

Joonmyun sets his jaw in defiance. “I’m not built like a kitten, either.” He flexes his biceps, and Jongdae can’t help but ogle at the smooth, defined curves of Joonmyun's shoulders and upper arm muscles. Joonmyun is surprisingly buff for someone built like a flower.

Maybe it’s a lapse of judgment or maybe Jongdae is just thinking with his dick again, but he opens the bedside drawer to pull out their industrial-sized bottle of lubricant. 

“It’s all yours,” he sighs in resignation and tosses the bottle to Joonmyun while pulling off his own boxers. 

He had expected a little kissing, cuddling, or foreplay of any kind really, but Joonmyun shoves Jongdae backwards so forcefully it makes his head bounce off the mattress. Joonmyun unscrews the lid of the bottle, dribbles the slippery liquid into his palm, and gets straight to business. 

Jongdae isn’t even hard yet, but the sight of Joonmyun between his thighs hesitantly tracing circles around Jongdae's puckered entrance with a concentrated gaze is enough to ignite the burn of arousal deep in his belly. Jongdae hisses when Joonmyun inserts one slender, careful finger inside him, and Joonmyun glances at Jongdae, eyes wide with alarm. 

“No, no, it’s okay, you’re doing great, keep going,” Jongdae encourages him gently, squeezing his eyes when Joonmyun pushes further in. He gingerly probes Jongdae's tight walls, and Jongdae has to remember to breathe deep and slow. Joonmyun starts sliding another finger in, and this time, Jongdae feels arousal sear through his body. 

Joonmyun pushes his fingers in and out slowly, careful to avoid hurting Jongdae’s unaccustomed body. The tip of his finger brushes against Jongdae’s prostate, provoking a sharp gasp.

“Push in a little further,” Jongdae breathes. “And crook your fingers a bit, the way I always do to you- yeah, just like that. Ahh…”

Jongdae’s moans of pleasure cause Joonmyun to look up in surprise. Upon seeing Jongdae’s expression of delirious ecstasy, Joonmyun has to bite his lip in order to hide his satisfied grin. When he thinks that Jongdae has been sufficiently prepared, Joonmyun pulls his fingers out to drizzle more lube into his palm. Jongdae whimpers pitifully, and Joonmyun can’t help but let a smirk play across his lips. After a liberal application of lubricant, Joonmyun rolls out of bed, pulling Jongdae along. He pushes Jongdae against the closest wall, and Jongdae’s cock is now standing at full attention thanks to Joonmyun’s display of dominance. Maybe letting Joonmyun take control wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

Their cocks brush against each other, and Jongdae shivers as Joonmyun lifts him up into his arms. Jongdae straddles his legs around Joonmyun’s hips, and feels the vertical nudge of Joonmyun’s cock against his opening. He exhales to loosen and relax his muscles, and lets himself sink down onto Joonmyun’s cock. Joonmyun grabs Jongdae’s lean, muscled thighs to hold them in place against his hips and starts thrusting into him, pushing him against the wall for leverage. Their bodies are moving together in a licentious choreography, but there is a tender intimacy in the way that Joonmyun's hot breath tickles Jongdae's neck and the way that Jongdae’s curly eyelashes brush against Joonmyun’s cheek. 

It’s unlike any penetration Jongdae has felt before- it’s more animalistic, primal, and he idly wonders if Joonmyun had done research to figure out the mechanism. His thoughts are interrupted when he feels a direct jab to his prostate, and his mind becomes an incoherent jumble of half-formed words and sensations. Joonmyun is panting now, his breath heavy and jagged against Jongdae’s neck, but his thrusts are slowing down.

“Jongdae, I’m… I’m-”

“Are you going to come for me baby?” Jongdae asks huskily.

“....I’m…getting tired…can we switch?”

The muscles in Joonmyun’s arms are quivering with exhaustion from supporting Jongdae’s weight. His cheeks are bright pink from exertion, and his hair is matted with sweat. Jongdae almost laughs, but Joonmyun has stopped his thrusting and is starting to pull out. Jongdae gently climbs down, and Joonmyun collapses limply against Jongdae’s chest.

“I can’t go on, I’m sorry,” he groans with his face pressed to Jongdae’s skin.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Let me take care of you,” Jongdae murmurs soothingly into Joonmyun’s damp locks. He hooks an arm behind Joonmyun’s knees and carries him bridal-style back to their bed. Jongdae sets him down gently, and Joonmyun makes a pleased little whimper when he sinks into the soft mattress. He looks tired enough to doze off, but his cock is still painfully erect, curling upwards towards his belly. 

Jongdae takes his time because he likes making Joonmyun writhe and squirm a bit. He crawls between Joonmyun’s legs and brushes his thumbs along the softness of his inner thighs. He skims his parted lips along Joonmyun’s cock, eliciting a soft moan. Jongdae licks a stripe along the thick vein on the underside of Joonmyun’s cock, from base to tip, and this time Joonmyun keens with anticipation. He takes the tip into his mouth, hollows his cheeks, and lets go with an obscene pop! Joonmyun moans in agony at the teasing, and Jongdae takes Joonmyun's full length into his mouth until he feels the tip bump against the back of his throat. He flattens his tongue against the underside of Joonmyun’s cock and then starts bobbing his head up and down until Joonmyun is clenching his milky abs and coming with a low groan down Jongdae’s throat.

Crawling up to press his forehead against Joonmyun’s, Jongdae shivers as his oversensitive cock brushes against Joonmyun’s flushed skin. He bends down for a kiss, but Joonmyun wrinkles his nose and turns his face away. Jongdae still has a trickle of white residue in the corners of his lips. 

“Don’t be a baby,” Jongdae laughs. “It’s just your own semen.”

Joonmyun reluctantly turns back to face Jongdae again and reaches a hand up to wipe the corners of his mouth before craning his head to lick at Jongdae’s lips. Jongdae lowers himself to return the kiss, but moans when his cock presses against Joonmyun’s soft skin. Joonmyun turns away again to break their kiss.

“You’re still hard,” he points out.

“Yeah,” Jongdae admits with a shaky laugh.

“Jongdae…”

“Yes, Joonmyun?”

“I want you to fuck me against a wall.”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative titles- "A straight man and Luhan walk into a bar", "no homo (jk full homo)", "Kim Joonmyun has the sex"


End file.
